Listen up, folks:

WHO: Lots and lots of people wearing green, munching on emerald-hued bagels and waving Irish flags. Bagpipers, marching bands, dancers and Celtic revelers will all take to the streets to spread that ever-abundant Irish joy and spirit.

WHAT: A celebration of the patron saint of Ireland, of course! New York style, which is, as usual, the ultimate.

WHEN: Saturday, March 16. The parade starts at 11 a.m. and typically ends by 5. The event has never been cancelled (since 1762!), and takes place rain or shine.

WHERE: The route is direct: It starts at Fifth Avenue at 44th Street and winds its way up the avenue to 79th. The route passes the venerable St. Patrick's Cathedral, always a treat.

WHY: See "WHAT".

Some additional notes. If you want to slurp a green beer--and you know you do--you need to head to one of the restaurants en route. Drinking on the street is not legal here in the city, but in bars and restaurants? Hellz yeah!

We'll end here with an old Celtic saying: There are only two kinds of people in the world, the Irish and those who wish they were!

Have a happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone, wherever you are!